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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29609541">better kept hushed</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/carpark/pseuds/carpark'>carpark</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Friends With Benefits, M/M, Secret Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 16:31:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>718</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29609541</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/carpark/pseuds/carpark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>best friends are for pictures, kissing affairs are for under the bleachers.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>62</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>better kept hushed</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Mark didn’t feel awfully guilty when he kissed his best friend, Donghyuck, on the lips, on the excuse that he wanted to know how he tasted. The answer was under his nose, in a sweet, enticing smell of lavender and the fruity taste that stayed behind like an aftertaste. He didn’t feel to strangle imelf, when the person in front laid submissively, reaching out his arms only to pull Mark onto his chest. Mark didn’t feel to hate himself, when he dived under his friend’s underwear, and tugged it off with reticence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t cry when he mumbled how sexy Donghyuck was when he laid under his shadow, trembling and yearning for more. He didn’t bite his lips when he said that he wanted those endeavors to continue until days cut short and he wouldn’t love him anymore.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Loving your best friend was for the more unfortunate, and who better than Mark wouldn’t know that. But when his best friend, in the corner of the classroom touched him under the table, sultry eyes and lips pulled in between his lips, Mark fell without any denial. It was hush, how they spelled out the unbelievable actions they would do to each other, the ventures that were left unsaid.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Donghyuck drew a heart on the top of his notebook, and masked taut lips and an  impassive expression for the rest of the friend group, he felt giddy. Having a love affair under the sheets, and acting to be of nothing but transparency made Mark feel excited, unable to wait to tie their hands under the table.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They scurried under everyone’s noses, escaped to the bathroom to continue their debacles, cressing each other under shirts, whispers giggles and groans hanging in the air. Mark never wanted more than that. Those clandestine, stealthy stealings, kissing each other under the bleachers, hiding in the janitors closet to claw their shirts off, before crying love you’s to each other to the unbeknownst to oter’s ears, it was enough. All of it was enough.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Secrets were made for them, and only for them. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You want to do something for me?” Donghyuck whimpered, while Mark busied himself sucking off Donghyuck’s dusty nipples. Mark looked from his chest, pleading eyes in display, as he continued to card Donghyuck’s chest in bites. Donghyuck pulled back the hair from Mark’s forehead, and asked him to listen, softly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Shoot. Is everything okay?” Mark scrambled himself off from him and propped beside him, hands thrown over his waist. He squeezed the soft skin of his belly, peppering kisses on all his shoulders.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Don’t be upset, okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You saying that alone makes me upset. I hope it’s not about anything involving us...I mean what we are doing. You want it too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, Mark.” Donghyuck turned around to face him, the blanket falling off his hips, showing off his tanned skin, “It’s not that I want this to end but I want something more out of it. If we are halfway into this, why don’t we go all the way? Tell people, make it official. I’m tired of hiding behind you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t want to. We are happy like this, and telling people would cause problems to erupt which we didn’t even know existed.” Mark sighed, tucking his chin on the crevice of Donghyuck’s neck, “I love you and I don't want it to end. You get me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sometimes I don’t. I guess now is kind of like sometimes. I’m giving you a chance here, to make something of us. Something rational, meaningful. I’m only asking you to meet me diway. If you want, yes, we’ll keep being off the grid, but at least let’s tell someone. Like Renjun, he’s dying to know where I run off after school.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Mark pulled the blanket off him, and Donghyuck noticed how beautifully his waist dipped off, meeting his hips. Mark sat up and looked over his shoulder. Donghyuck couldn’t comprehend what his eyes said, but he knew it was a loss of something secretly fond, something they wanted to keep themselves. Selfish yet, Donghyuck wanted to keep that look of Mark to himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can’t.” he said, “I want to be with you, not with other people.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And…” Donghyuck scoffed, “you are not in love with me but with the thing we have.”</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i know its not the quirky, thrilling behind the scenes affairs you came for but i hope you took something from it.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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